Wednesday, October 29, 2014
The truth is, I'm not really terribly hip. Sure, I adopt the trendy and youthful to suit my needs in certain situations but let's be honest.....I'm a 47 year old gay vegan nerd whose skinny jeans are languishing in the back of the closet and who can no longer go to see live bands because the loud music hurts my teeth. This is just the way it is. There was a time when I would forget that I wasn't young and hip anymore. I put on my plaid pants and went to see the latest lesbian rapper from London and got right up to the front of the stage but then she spit vodka into my eyes and I skulked back to the bar, eyes burning, and realized that I had missed at least one entire generation of social transformation.
So today when I posted a status on Facebook and used the hash tag #gayvegannerd it was really just for fun. I don't have any idea what hash tags are for. I'm sure there is some significance I'm missing. I spend most of my life these days feeling like I came into calculus class fresh from remedial math. That's ok. I'm alright with that. I do like Facebook because it seems safe for people like me. I'm certainly not the coolest kid on the block but I'm also not WRITING PERSONAL MESSAGES IN ALL CAPS IN THE COMMENTS LINE OF MY GRANDSON'S PAGE. So I'm comfortable. I can learn and I can teach. It's terribly zen for me. Twitter should be fun for me but it isn't. I'm too wordy. And hash tags always just feel like Twitter abortions; like you just couldn't muster a complete thought and gave up half way through and plopped a hash tag in front of it.
I know I sound like I'm about to yell "You damn kids get off my lawn!" but I do have a point.
The point is that when I wrote #gayvegannerd today I realized that I am Gay Vegan Nerd! I am that guy....the guy who's too old to be cool and too young not to be cool....and I think I may not be the only one. So when (to my amazement) gayvegannerd.blogspot.com was available I snatched that right up and started writing. I'm already in the middle of three projects and I don't really have time to keep up with another blog but I've been asked over and over to write something funny and I think this might be the place and I need an outlet for my stream of consciousness thoughts so my friends don't look at me with those sad, worried eyes anymore when I do it out loud in conversation.
This isn't about being gay or vegan or even a nerd.....though I guess I'm all three. This is about me finally assuming the cloak of my own identity and maybe connecting with other people out there who are experiencing the same thing. I'd call this middle age but I'm certainly not planning on living to 94. I was shocked to hit 30. This feels more like the fun you have sliding down the hill after spending so much time climbing and trying to be so safe and careful. At one point you realize that was all a game, an act, and so you throw caution to the wind and jump on your garbage bag and slide down to the finish line.
This is me having fun and being me. I think it's going to be mostly funny and I think it's probably going to be offensive and ridiculous sometimes too. Those of you who know me on Facebook know I love to make people laugh and I often don't have much of a filter. Think of this as Todd: The Miniseries. If you don't know me, you'll get the idea pretty quickly. I believe in a lot of things very strongly but I don't have any answers. I'm enjoying the ride and for the first time in my life I'm ready to accept me for who I am. I'm a gay vegan nerd and I'm getting older and my hair is graying and I'm getting puffy grandfathery eyes but there's a part of me that thinks that it's pretty cool too.
So.....that's that! I'll let you know what's next when I figure that out!